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Your Impact Gap

Hey there!


Heads up!


Day 4 goes deeper because this is where intention meets reality. Most leaders defend their intentions without ever checking their impact. The extra space gives you no room to hide, you get the specific diagnostics to see where you're creating gaps, so ignoring them becomes a choice, not an oversight."


Here is a recap of day 1 -3

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Day 1 Challenge | Name it to Tame it: Notice the first emotion you feel today. Name it. Delay your response for 10 seconds. Then choose your next move intentionally and with clarity. (If you need more than 10 seconds, please take the pause.)


Day 2 Challenge | Own Your Triggers: Identify one trigger that keeps getting the best of you. Write down the story you attach to it… and rewrite it.


Day 3 Challenge | Watch your words: Today's Challenge: Before your next high-stakes conversation, pause and ask yourself: What exactly needs to be said here? Then say it—clean, direct, and fully aligned.

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Ok...here we go! Day 4


You think you're being clear. They think you're being confusing.


  • You think you're being direct. They think you're being aggressive.

  • You think you're being supportive. They think you're being dismissive.


Welcome to the impact gap, the distance between your intention and their experience.


And here's the hard truth: Your intention doesn't matter if your impact is breaking trust.


The Problem


You've said the words. You've explained the strategy. You've given the feedback. And yet—misunderstanding, misalignment, frustration.


So you assume they didn't listen. They took it the wrong way. They're too sensitive. But leadership isn't judged by what you meant. It's judged by what landed.

The impact gap exists because you're focused on your delivery instead of their reception. You're monitoring your words while ignoring your tone. You're thinking about what to say next while missing the body language telling you they've already checked out.


Congruence is everything. When your words say one thing but your tone, pace, or posture says another, people don't trust the words. They trust the incongruence and they fill in the gaps with their own story.


"I'm not upset" delivered with a tight jaw and clipped tone? They hear: I'm furious, and now I'm lying about it.


"You're doing great" delivered while looking at your phone? They hear: You're barely worth my attention.


"I trust you to handle this" delivered with a follow-up email two hours later asking for an update? They hear: I don't trust you at all.


Today's Challenge: Close One Impact Gap: Pick one interaction today—a meeting, a check-in, a piece of feedback—and focus entirely on how it's landing, not just what you're saying.

Before you speak, ask yourself:

  • What do I want them to feel when this conversation is over?

  • Am I creating that with my tone, pace, and presence or just my words?


During the conversation, notice:

  • Are they leaning in or pulling back?

  • Are they asking questions or going quiet?

  • Does their face match their "I understand"?


After the conversation, check:

  • "How did that land for you?"

  • "What's your biggest takeaway from what I just said?"

  • "What do you need from me that I didn't cover?"


This isn't about being soft. It's about being effective. You can be direct and clear. You can challenge someone and maintain trust. But only if you're paying attention to the gap.


Reflection Questions:

Where are you creating impact gaps without realizing it?

Is it in how you deliver feedback? How you run meetings? How you respond when you're stressed or distracted? Think about the last time someone misunderstood you. What did you contribute to that gap?


Why This Matters

Leaders who ignore the impact gap lose credibility one conversation at a time.

Your team starts filtering what they tell you. They stop asking questions. They nod and agree, then do what they think you actually meant. You end up managing confusion instead of leading execution.


And here's the thing, you won't always know the gap exists. People won't tell you. They'll just stop trusting you with the truth.


Closing the gap isn't about being perfect. It's about being aware. It's about caring enough to check your impact instead of defending your intention. One aligned conversation builds more trust than ten "clear" emails ever will.


Tomorrow: We're tackling the thing most leaders avoid until it's too late. Note, the pattern you ignore is the problem you repeat.


Have a great weekend! See you Monday!


With gratitude and impact,

Nicole F. Smith, CEO/Founder, JMS Creative Leadership Solutions

Creator of the EQ Impact® Framework


P.S. If your words and your tone aren't aligned, your team will always believe the tone. Make them match.


Before You Go — A Quick Note

If you’re thinking about bringing EQ Impact® into your organization or want to work with me directly…


My 2026 calendar is already filling up.

I want to see you and your organization win. So here’s my commitment: I’m offering a limited-time discount to organizations and individuals who secure their 2026 slot now. If you’re serious about elevating your leaders, this is your moment. Claim it before it’s gone.

Now is the time to connect.


Let’s talk about your goals, your people, and the emotional stamina your organization needs to thrive.






Thank you for being part of this journey with me. This isn’t just my story — it’s ours.


Together, we’re building leaders, including yourself, to lead with courage, compassion, and emotional brilliance.



Want to set up some time? Let's talk: Click here!

Leaders choose to work with me and my team because we don’t just talk strategy. We build emotionally intelligent leaders who lead with clarity, presence, and purpose.


You're receiving this email because you’re not interested in performing leadership. You’re here to practice it.


You booked a call, joined an event, or signed up because something in you said, it’s time to lead differently. You’re ready to create a life and business rooted in who you are—not in outdated rules or titles that never fit. And we’re here to help you do exactly that—with emotional intelligence at the center.




 
 
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ABOUT Me

I am a dynamic keynote speaker and emotional intelligence expert and strategist who ignites passion and confidence in industry leaders. As the founder of JMS Creative Leadership Solutions, I deliver transformative coaching, workshops and presentations that (re)humanize the workplace and empower individuals to embrace their extraordinary potential through the power of emotional intelligence!

 

With a deep "modern" understanding of talent management, human resources, education, and adult training, I craft engaging workshops, keynotes and interactive coaching sessions that blend theory with practical application and few humorous moments because we have to laugh through all of this! Beyond discussing team dynamics, conflict resolution, and empathy, I create a reflective experience that leaves participants inspired and equipped with actionable insights. With that, I created a framework that will allow you to connect with your emotions so you can show up, lead and thrive! Introducing EQ Impact™!

 

I am dedicated to maximizing emotional intelligence and unlocking the extraordinary potential within each individual. Prepare to embark on a journey of self-discovery and professional growth. It is a beautiful and fun journey to discovery who you truly are and desire to be. No more fluff. No more theory. Let's put emotional intelligence in motion!

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