You're Not Stuck—You're Repeating

Hey there!

Day 5, just like day 4, goes deeper because this is where most leaders quit. They recognize the pattern but don't know what to do instead. The extra length gives you no excuses. You get the specific opposite actions, so the only thing left is choosing them. But first...

Here is a recap of day 1 -4

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Day 1 Challenge | Name it to Tame it: Notice the first emotion you feel today. Name it. Delay your response for 10 seconds. Then choose your next move intentionally and with clarity. (If you need more than 10 seconds, please take the pause.)

Day 2 Challenge | Own Your Triggers: Identify one trigger that keeps getting the best of you. Write down the story you attach to it… and rewrite it.

Day 3 Challenge | Watch your words: Today's Challenge: Before your next high-stakes conversation, pause and ask yourself: What exactly needs to be said here? Then say it—clean, direct, and fully aligned.

Day 4 Challenge | Impact Gap: Close One Impact Gap: Pick one interaction today—a meeting, a check-in, a piece of feedback—and focus entirely on how it's landing, not just what you're saying.

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Ok...here we go! Day 5

You're not reacting to today's problem. You're running yesterday's script.

That defensive tone when someone questions your decision? The way you shut down feedback before really hearing it? How you avoid the hard conversation until it becomes a crisis?

These aren't isolated incidents. They're patterns. And patterns don't change by accident.

Avoidance. Overthinking. Defensiveness. People-pleasing. Micromanaging. Self-sabotage wears a thousand different faces, but it all hides behind leadership habits you've normalized.

The problem isn't that you had a bad moment. The problem is you keep having the same bad moment and calling it "just how things are."

When you interrupt the pattern, you change the outcome.

Today's Challenge: Catch Yourself in One Habit That Keeps Repeating and Choose the Opposite Action

Here's what that actually looks like:

If your pattern is avoidance:

• You typically delay the uncomfortable email or conversation

• Opposite action: Send it within the next two hours, even if it's not perfect

• Why it works: Momentum breaks paralysis faster than planning does

If your pattern is defensiveness:

• You typically explain, justify, or deflect when challenged

• Opposite action: Pause for three seconds and say, "Tell me more about that"

• Why it works: Curiosity replaces combat, and you actually learn something

If your pattern is overthinking:

• You typically spiral through seventeen scenarios before deciding

• Opposite action: Set a 10-minute timer and make the call when it goes off

• Why it works: Done beats perfect, and you build decisiveness like a muscle

If your pattern is people-pleasing:

• You typically say yes when you mean no, then resent it later

• Opposite action: Say, "Let me check my capacity and get back to you by end of day"

• Why it works: Boundaries without guilt, time without pressure

If your pattern is micromanaging:

• You typically check in, correct, or take over when your team is executing

• Opposite action: Name the outcome you want and step completely back for 48 hours

• Why it works: Trust is built by giving it, not by proving they need supervision

Why This Matters

Patterns are comfortable. They're predictable. They give you the illusion of control.

But here's the truth: The pattern you refuse to interrupt is the ceiling on your leadership.

You can't delegate effectively if you always swoop in to fix things. You can't build trust if you're always defending yourself. You can't make bold decisions if you're always overthinking. You can't lead with influence if you're always avoiding the tension.

Your team doesn't just experience your intentions. They experience your patterns. And those patterns either build trust or erode it.

One opposite action won't fix everything. But it will show you something critical:

You're not stuck. You're just repeating.

Reflection Question:

Which pattern is costing you the most influence?

Not which one is most annoying. Not which one you wish you didn't have.

Which pattern—when you're honest with yourself—is actively limiting your effectiveness as a leader?

Write it down. Name it. And then today, just for today, do the opposite.

With gratitude and impact,

Nicole F. Smith, CEO/Founder, JMS Creative Leadership Solutions

Creator of the EQ Impact® Framework

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Before You Go — A Quick Note

If you’re thinking about bringing EQ Impact® into your organization or want to work with me directly…

My 2026 calendar is already filling up.

I want to see you and your organization win. So here’s my commitment: I’m offering a limited-time discount to organizations and individuals who secure their 2026 slot now. If you’re serious about elevating your leaders, this is your moment. Claim it before it’s gone.

Now is the time to connect.

Let’s talk about your goals, your people, and the emotional stamina your organization needs to thrive.

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