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Stop Overworking Your Happiness
- Nicole F. Smith, M.Ed. (CEO/Founder)
- 7 hours ago
- 5 min read
Why You’re Exhausted (Even When You’re “Happy")
You’re striving for happiness. But if you’re honest, it feels like the harder you try, the more drained you become.
You’re not imagining it. Psychologist Ole Höffken’s research shows that fixating on happiness actually makes it harder to feel.
That one idea stopped me in my tracks.
Because you and I live in a culture that pushes us to track every habit, optimize every moment, avoid negative emotion, and force confidence on the days we feel anything but. And then we wonder why we feel tired, reactive, or emotionally stretched thin.
What if nothing is wrong with you?
What if you’re simply overworking your emotions?
The Hidden Cost of Chasing Happiness
Höffken’s work explains that happiness isn’t a constant state of feeling good. It’s a balance between positive and negative emotions — an internal equilibrium your nervous system depends on.
But when you fight sadness, overthink anxiety, or try to “push past” frustration, you disrupt the balance your brain is wired for.
You’re not failing. You’re overloaded.
And leaders feel this more intensely because you carry responsibility, expectations, emotional labor, and pressure that never stops.
What’s at stake if you ignore this?
• Burnout
• Emotional fatigue
• Decision paralysis
• Shorter patience with your team
• Doubting your leadership and questioning your value
This is exactly why my EQ Impact® work exists to help you reclaim the inner balance you were never meant to lose.
Why Modern Life Makes Happiness Harder
We’re living inside an “evolutionary mismatch.” Our emotional wiring is ancient, but our world is overstimulated, fast, and performance-driven.
And because of that:
• We compare more than we connect
• We seek validation more than belonging
• We chase intensity instead of meaning
• We scroll for dopamine instead of rest
• We suppress emotions we’re supposed to integrate
Höffken calls these “supernormal stimuli” — exaggerated rewards that pull your brain off balance.
Social media, email notifications, endless pressure to be productive… all of it pushes you further from the emotional equilibrium that creates true happiness.
You can’t out-journal, out-meditate, or out-hustle biology.
But you can work with it.
And that’s where EQ Impact® becomes your advantage.
The EQ Impact® Shift That Restores Emotional Balance
Instead of forcing happiness, you learn how to balance your emotions with intention.
Here’s the shift:
Stop eliminating negative emotions. Start integrating them.
My EQ Impact® Framework shows you exactly how:
• Self-Discovery: Name it without judgment
• Emotional Mastery: Regulate without suppressing
• Social Intelligence: Share what you feel without spilling it
• Relationship Building: Build trust through honesty, not performance
When you do this, you stop exhausting yourself emotionally.
You reclaim clarity.
You stop reacting.
You start leading.
And the benefit shows up immediately — not someday.
Before You Go — A Quick Note
If you’re thinking about bringing EQ Impact® into your organization or want to work with me directly…
My 2026 calendar is already filling.
I want to see you and your organization win. So here’s my commitment: I’m offering a limited-time discount to organizations and individuals who secure their 2026 slot now. If you’re serious about elevating your leaders, this is your moment. Claim it before it’s gone.
Now is the time to connect.
Let’s talk about your goals, your people, and the emotional stamina your organization needs to thrive.
Where are you forcing happiness when you should be restoring emotional balance?
Sit with it. Leaders who avoid that question stay stuck in emotional exhaustion.
Leaders who answer it? They grow fast.
Season 4 Podcast Recap – The Lessons You Can’t Ignore
In the latest episode of Blow Your Mindset, I shared the lessons that pushed me, stretched me, and sharpened me this season:
• You can’t skip the emotional work and expect maturity
• Your self-awareness determines your leadership
• Healing accelerates growth
• Avoidance slows everything
• The way you speak to yourself shapes how you show up
• You can’t lead with clarity while carrying emotional clutter
• EQ isn’t optional, not for where workplaces are headed
• You don’t need perfection; you need emotional stamina
If you missed the episode, take 20 minutes to catch up. Your future leadership will thank you.
JOIN US in the ZOOM room!
📅 December 10, 2025
⏰ 12:00 pm eastern | Via Zoom
I created a webinar. It’s built around my book, 20 Golden Leadership Nuggets | Refined by EQ Impact®, but I’m bringing it to life, guiding you through the lessons that change how you lead in real time.
You’ll learn how to:
✅ Identify the emotions driving your leadership decisions
✅ Stay composed and confident when pressure rises
✅ Build trust that fuels connection, not exhaustion
And because I want you to walk away with more than insight, your $59 registration includes:
📘 Refined by EQ Impact® Companion Guide
🎁 A signed copy of my book — mailed to you, free
🎥 Replay access if you can’t attend live
Why Now
Because emotional intelligence isn’t a “soft skill” anymore — it’s the competitive edge every effective leader needs.
The next 12 months will belong to leaders who can handle pressure without losing their presence.Those who don’t learn to manage emotions now will keep reacting instead of leading, losing credibility and clarity in the process.
If you’ve felt emotionally stretched, misunderstood, or disconnected in your leadership… this hour is your turning point.
You’ll walk away lighter, clearer, and equipped to lead yourself and others with emotional brilliance.
Join me live. Let’s refine how you lead — before burnout refines it for you.
📅 December 10, 2025
⏰ 12:00 pm eastern | Via Zoom
👉 Reserve Your Spot + Claim Your Free Signed Book
Leadership is emotional.
Let’s make it intentional.
With gratitude and impact,
Nicole F. Smith, CEO/Founder, JMS Creative Leadership Solutions
Creator of the EQ Impact® Framework
Check out this video!
🤖 AI + EQ = The Future of Leadership
📌 If you do not want to attend the workshop, I get it (kinda) but, push a button...any button!
📘 Grab your copy of 20 Golden Leadership Nuggets | Refined by EQ Impact®
I do accommodate bulk orders! So get copies for your team and maybe we can gather for a quick Q&A or webinar! And, yes, I am available for book club discussions. There are reflection questions in the back of the book! Help me get to 2000 books by March 31, 2026!
OH! We are on Amazon if that is your jam and want it the next day.
👥 Bring the EQ Impact® Framework to your team through coaching, workshops, or speaking engagement. I will support you and your team through all the chaos and crisis taking place right now and in the future.
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. This isn’t just my story — it’s ours.
Together, we’re building leaders, including yourself, to lead with courage, compassion, and emotional brilliance.
Want to set up some time? Let's talk: Click here!
Leaders choose to work with me and my team because we don’t just talk strategy—we build emotionally intelligent leaders who lead with clarity, presence, and purpose.
You're receiving this email because you’re not interested in performing leadership. You’re here to practice it.
You booked a call, joined an event, or signed up because something in you said, it’s time to lead differently. You’re ready to create a life and business rooted in who you are—not in outdated rules or titles that never fit. And we’re here to help you do exactly that—with emotional intelligence at the center.
