You're managing too much.
- Nicole Smith
- 13 hours ago
- 3 min read
Here's what to do about it
You are managing too much. You already know it. The calendar, the team, the house, the relationships — all of it running through you like a central switchboard.
And somewhere underneath all of that competence, you've quietly lost the thread back to yourself.
One of my Blow My Mind(set) Podcast episodes is for you. Ginny Priem (IG: @ginnypriem | LinkedIn: Ginny Priem) calls it "unsubscribing." I call it one of the most emotionally intelligent acts a leader can make and one of the hardest.
Why Your Greatest Success Requires a Massive Unsubscribe
In a culture that treats burnout as a badge of honor, many high-achievers find themselves caught in the "overfunctioning" trap. It's the soul-crushing weight of a 20-year climb up a ladder that you eventually realize might be leaning against the wrong wall.
We are taught that success is about accumulation. But the truth is far more radical: your next level of growth isn't about what you add to your life — it's about what you choose to let go.
Ginny Priem lived this reality until it reached a cinematic breaking point. This catastrophic betrayal forced a breakthrough: to find clarity and "sunshine," Ginny had to stop managing the chaos and start unsubscribing from it.
"Starting Again" Is Not "Starting Over"
Starting over implies you've been reset to zero. Starting again is an act of empowerment — you are walking into the next room with every lesson, every scar, and every bit of seasoned wisdom you've earned. There is no expiration date on new beginnings. You aren't losing progress; you are simply pivoting with a more refined toolkit.
"You're starting again because you have all of the experience... everything that you've already learned to take forward with you."
Boundaries Are Doors, Not Walls
High-achievers often fear that setting boundaries makes them "difficult" or "cold." This is a fundamental misunderstanding.
Think of a boundary as a door. A door shows people exactly where the entrance to your life is and provides the terms for entry. People who respect your value will see the door and knock. Those who view your door as an obstacle are usually the ones who made the boundary necessary in the first place.
The High Cost of the "Fixer" Mentality
Overfunctioning is the dark side of leadership. We convince ourselves that carrying everything is "strength." But it is actually a form of enabling that prevents others from growing and leaves us hollowed out. The cost is always paid in health. And often, high-achievers fall into these cycles because they feel familiar — not because they're good for us.
"I ultimately completely lost myself trying to be everything to everybody and this resulted in me being nothing to myself."
The "Unsubscribe" Framework
To reclaim your energy, Ginny offers four filters:
Then add four lines as a simple list:
Manage — Set strict parameters for responsibilities you can't fully eliminate.
Swap — Replace a draining habit or relationship with a restorative one.
Mute — Quiet external noise to find your internal signal.
Block — Total removal of toxic influences to create oxygen for what matters.
The Power of the Pause
The cornerstone of emotional intelligence: you cannot control the implosions or stimulus that come your way, but you have absolute control over your response. True power is found in the pause — that heartbeat between a trigger and an action where you decide to respond with intention rather than react out of fear. What are you currently "subscribed" to that is costing you your peace? The life you want is hidden behind the things you need to let go.
The Gap Behind the "Fixer"
The "fixer" trap isn't a personal failing. It's a leadership pattern and it has a gap at the center of it.
The intent is strength. The impact is depletion. For you, for your team, for everyone watching you absorb what others should be carrying.
That gap — between what you mean to do and what your behavior actually produces — is exactly what my work is built around. The Intent–Impact Gap™ shows up in boardrooms, in team dynamics, and yes, in the moments when a high-performing leader quietly disappears into everyone else's needs.
Ginny's framework is a personal one. Mine is organizational, operational. But the starting point is the same: you cannot lead others well from a place you've abandoned in yourself.
If this episode is landing for you, I'd love to talk about what it looks like inside your leadership or your team's.
Share with a colleague, peer, and/or team member.
Nicole F. Smith
Creator of EQ Impact®
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